Q & A Health
Jun 17th, 2009 by Clare
Note: Got this one from an e-mail forwarded to me by a friend. Take it with a sense of humour okay?
Q: I have heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it…don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer. That is like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap!
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetables). And a mixed grill can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain…Good!
Q: Aren’t fried food bad for you?
A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!! Food is fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they are permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables bad for you!
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? Hello! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable! It’s the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in shape more important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. 
This is hilarious!
And…and…and…for those of you why watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
- The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
- The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
- The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
- The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
- The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat a lot of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
So, the conclusion is: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you! LOL! 
these are not true facts,dont misled others, please
Excuse me? I DID NOT say that this is a fact nor did I ask my readers to follow blindly what is being posted, did I? Can’t take jokes, can you? Go play far far, this is not a place for you then.
HAHAHA!!! I’ve read this Q&A Health before and it is bloody hilarious! I like it! Thumbs up!
Read in the news last night (in today’s paper, well, I read tomorrow’s new yesterday, before they go to print, what a blessing) that two scientists discovered that the root of the problem of obesity is not lack of will power, but is a chemical process. And they shared million-dollar Shaw Prize, known as the Nobel Prize of the east!
Hey, find our way to that Shaw Prize? Then, I shall only read today’s news today! LOL
I read this before in my email, i was so happy after reading it.. the person who wrote this, thumbs up!!
When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want bigger stomach.
I cracked reading this! LOL LOL LOL! Hmm.. time to exercise ‘that’ muscle.. hahahaaaa!
I know that doctor… His name is Dr Phua Chu Kang! LOL!!! Re. Yan’s comment! I could have told them that! Just smell food and I grow fat already. Gee! Why didn’t they give me the Shaw Prize and the million dollars? Tsk! Tsk! And bongkersz, no wonder Diana Ross sings in her song, “I love…muscles!!!” Hahahahaha!
haha! this is so funny!