Kampua Talk

Disclaimer: Those anxiously waiting by their mailbox or telephone right after reading the title are advised to calm down and return to their PC because the author is not getting married anytime soon

Crying Marriage

In some regions, two weeks to one month before the wedding ceremony, the bride will start crying in a singsong manner. The song lyrics are mostly about the sadness of parting from one’s parents, brothers and sisters-in-law. Sometimes, her siblings, sisters-in-law, parents and even relatives join in the singing.

Good grief!!! Crying for a month? (Or two weeks minimum for that matter) So instead of wedding coming up, people would have the impression that someone had died! Here’s an idea. Since everyone in the bride’s family will cry for that long, why not collect the tears in a bucket and use it for washing or something? Can use for cooking also so that no need to buy salt supply for a month or two You know, recession. Save money.

Eating half-cooked dumplings

In some regions, the bride is offered half-cooked dumplings. When the bride eats the dumplings, she would be asked: “Sheng bu sheng?” In Mandarin means, “Is it raw?” which sounds the same as, “Will you have babies”. If the bride answers, “Sheng”, it could mean, “It’s raw” or “I’d have babies.”

Now, that is a fail-safe way to satisfy the mother-in-law. She can mean that the dumpling is raw just to give the impression that she would have babies even if she would not. So she’s happy, the mother-in-law is happy and they live happily ever after. Until…a few years later and she’s still childless. Only then, all hell breaks lose!

Carrying the bride piggy back

The custom was practised in the old days in Taiwan. On the wedding day, the groom carried the bride piggyback, and with blessings from both families, ran back to his house. On arriving, he walked round the wedding celebration venue twice before meeting his family and friends. Finally, he ran to the bridal chamber.

And fell asleep because he was tired from all the running, all the while carrying a 2-ton truck on his back. The poor fella!

Red double happiness

One popular marriage custom is the pasting of the double happiness character on doors and windows. There are even embroideries of the character on pillows and blankets.

But Aussino does not sell pillow case and blankets with double happiness characters. So how? Cut it out from red papers and cellotape it to the pillow case and blanket? Wouldn’t it be uncomfortable to sleep like that? Hmm… 

Distributing red eggs

In some places, red eggs are distributed whenever there is a marriage. Whether you are a relative or friend or even a total stranger, you can still ask the bride for a red egg.

Like I said, during this recession period, it is wise to save as much as possible. So what are you waiting for? Stock up on the eggs already…from the bride lah! Red or not, those are still eggs. But there are some taboo about eating overnight eggs so you might have to reconsider your option or else you’ll be a proud owner of swollen balls!

Taboo wedding dates

Good things come in pairs. The wedding is a day of happiness for both the bride and groom. It is inauspicious to choose a date which has an odd figure. Most wedding days fall on dates with even figures. As the fifth, seventh and ninth lunar months are believed to be inauspicious, it is foolhardy to plan a wedding during these months. When a death occurs in either family, it is also unlucky to hold a wedding.

Oh, really? Wedding date must be even number lah?! So Friday the 13th is not a good idea, eh? Hmm...

PS: Pardon the author. She typed this as while drinking a mug of Bailey’s Chocolate Mint

Sidenote: I said I will join facebook when pigs can fly. Well…swine flu! So…faster go add me liao! Use kampuatalk [at] gmail [dot] com, thank you!