Kampua Talk

Well, at least that was what I expected the Malay subtitle to be.  It turned out to be Laju & Garang! From experience, watching movies in the cinema has become a side-splitting experience, from laughing too much, that is. The Malay subtitles translated from English movies are so hilarious that sometimes it is better than the movie itself!

Cepat & Marah or Laju & Garang translate into Fast & Furious (for the uninitiated).

Fast & Furious 4, a sequel to the first 3 Fast & Furious, is a movie that I have been waiting for ages besides Transformers 2. I don’t know what’s with me and fast cars. Not only fast cars, but really good cars. Not the modified kancil/kelisa/kenari/proton/perodua that you see everyday on the road. Those are cheapo wannabes with no sense of logic from the way they modify their cars. Those are not car enthusiast like what they believe or have the delusions that they are. Have you seen a Perodua kenari with a spoiler bigger than its bonnet? I almost believe that it actually can make the car topples over flies! Almost.

Have you seen a proton iswara or perodua kancil with a modified exhaust as big as an elephant’s leg? The exhaust rattles with a loud GOONG-GOONG-GOONG-GOONG-GOONG sound whenever they stopped at the traffic light next to you (or anywhere else for that matter) and you can’t help but smirk? REAL cars with properly and professionally modified exhaust do not sound like that! And I don’t blame you for laughing your ass off when you overtake these loud but slow modified cheap turbo wannabes QUIETLY and put ten tiang (street lamp post) in between in no time with no effort whatsoever while you hear them rave as hard/loud as possible but hardly get their vehicle to move!

In movies like this, whenever there are fast cars, hot and sexy chicks are definitely nearby! Cars alone can make the movie a success but throw in a truckload of sizzling hot chicks in barely-there clothings and *tada* you have the movie to top the chart on the opening week itself! The higher the cleavage ratings (means the more they show more cleavage aka pang pua liap and above) on the few main actresses, the better the movie sells! And in this movie, there are a SEA of them! LOL!

I’m in for the CARS and chicks as well! Hahaha! Male casts in the movie is not THAT hot but throw them behind the wheels of nice cars would add a few notches to their dig-me scale! OK-looking guy driving a sweet car ALWAYS manage to get the hottest/prettiest girl. So what does that tell you? Chicks dig blokes with powerful/luxurious/simply put, expensive (for us, at least) cars. LOL!

I’ve seen an example closer to home, here in Kuching. I was stopping at a traffic light somewhere in town and there was this RX8 passing by in front of us with the passenger window wound down. The girl was putting her face halfway out the window as if to enjoy the wind - *roll eyes* carbon monoxide was more like it - with her chin held high. You know, like very-proud-to-show-off-my-boyfriend-is-driving-an-RX8 kinda look. The boyfriend (I think) was driving the RX8. I bet you that if the boyfriend was driving a perodua or proton or even a toyota, she would not do that.

10 seconds into the movie, my heart was racing like the cars in the movie. You just got to watch the opening part of the movie! It was a really good movie but of course the first Fast & Furious is still the best (just like any other movie).

When the Malaysian tried our own version of Tokyo Drift called Impak Maksima and Evolusi KL Drift, it was a case of kemaluan besar! I mean, the cars, skills, technology that they used in Impak Maksima/Evolusi KL Drift never come anywhere near what we saw in Fast & Furious. I mean, come on, someone might defend Impak Maksima/Evolusi KL Drift with his/her life to show how patriotic he/she is but let’s be realistic, why do you think Impak Maksima/Evolusi KL Drift did not sell that well? I have watched the movie (Evolusi KL Drift, not Impak Maksima. I’ve got the two mixed up big time! Hahaha!), I don’t find it good because it lack the charisma to get the audience’s adrenaline pumping and the very cheesy storyline.

Oh yes! I appreciate good quality cars. I’d definitely pee in my pants if surrounded by the fleet of sport cars in Fast & Furious. And a dream come true if I own them *dream far far* We saw a RM1 million car on the road one Saturday morning when we wanted to have our weekly dosage of laksa and the owner of that million-dollar car sat at the table next to ours having laksa too! Guess who was that! Clue: Not related to pek moh (relative speaking) if that’s what you’re thinking.

So, Fast & Furious 4? Checked! Fast & Furious 5 coming up! LOL!