Kampua Talk

Time flies and with a blink of an eye, I’ve been working with this bunch of people for slightly more than 3 months already. I can practically categorize them into different groups. I’ve blogged about one of my colleagues before (remember Monica?).

• The Complainer
  The Complainer complains about anything in the office. From a wrong fax sent to the spilled coffee. He/She will run to papa the boss, complaining about what you’ve done or not done. On the bright side, the Complainer kept you disciplined. One second of clocking-in late, you can expect your name being mentioned to the boss and a minute later, expect a call from your boss asking your whereabouts, unless if you have a reasonable boss, of course. The more they complain, the longer they seem to live. LOL!
• The Boss
  The Boss is not your superior, nor is he/she your real boss. He/She just likes to act like the boss, ordering and barking you around. Make me a cup of coffee, less sugar, no creamer and I want it hot! Photocopy these documents for me. Fax this document to Company A. Check these documents for me. I want it by lunchtime! The Slave (will be explained in the later part of the post) is normally a target/victim of the Boss. The real boss (who pays your salary) has no idea of this boss. At all. Because this boss sucks up to the real boss real good.
• The Nosy Parker
  He/She went to your desk and started gossiping. So, you know, I went to this place last night. Guess who I bumped into! *excited excited* So-and-so. With a young chick in his arm! I saw see-and-saw the other day, doing this and that. Oh by the way, that si lai (housewife) just bought a new bag, bla bla bla. It’s fine if you are a nosy parker yourself. Otherwise, you’ll feel that he/she is torturing you with ‘intimate’ details of everything!
• The Glutton
  The Glutton will be seen eating or munching on something every time you turn around. The smell of the food that he/she is having pollute the entire office and is highly capable of making The Nosy Parker to float to his/her desk and showering him/her with questions about the food he/she is having!
• The Loud Speaker
  He/She can be heard even before you see his/her shadow. He/She laughs like a hyena and can be heard across the river. Every word that comes out from her mouth is considered above a certain decibel which is dangerous for your ear. I wonder how is her sex life. Maybe her husband is deaf so it doesn’t really matter anyway
• The Gossip
  They are inter-changable with The Nosy Parker.
• The I-think-I’m-Smart
  I am smarter than you. So everything I say must be right and everything you say must be wrong.
• The Two Face
  Also known as the hypocrite. He/She says one thing to you but a different thing to another person. He/She changes her story really fast. The Two Face can also be a backstabber. You won’t recognize them at a glance but after a while, their true colors of the rainbow show.
• The “IT Expert”
  They self-claimed to be the IT expert of the company because they successfully removed one virus from your PC. Apparently, if you work with a bunch of women aged 30 and above who are all IT-illiterate (except to turn the PC on and off and print stuff), some of the small things that you did, like scanning the PC for virus and surf the internet for currency exchange for that day, seemed like rocket science to them. From then on, they will run to you every time there’s a problem with their PC. But when you asked them some smartass question that you knew the answer but they didn’t, they’ll get offended and argued that it’s not in their scope. WTF?!
• The Square-head
  Cannot think out of their tiny box and apparently still living in their perfect world. Blindly copy/follow what others are doing without understanding the process of the whole thing. Sometimes their heads are so square that you can imagine a worm crawling out of their head when talking to them. Oh well…
• The Slave
  His/Her job is to be bossed around by “The Boss” and the rest of the office. He/She will do anything that you asked him/her to do. Therefore, The Slave will be doing all the dirty job, for example photocopying documents, making coffee, personal errands, etc.

Sigh! These are only a few co-workers that most office have. I believe there are still a lot out there who has experienced worse. Oh well, when you’re out there, you’re alone. It’s the survival of the smartest and of the person who knows how to kiss ass, not the fittest, in the current world. A lot of people are always on the lookout, lurking in the dark corner, to see you fail, just don’t give them the satisfaction!

Have a nice day!