Kampua Talk

Chinese New Year is only 3 days away - YAY! - and I’m excited not because of the celebration (I’ll not be celebrating CNY this year though) but more to the long holidays And you know CNY is only around the corner when everywhere you go, you’re asked, “Already buy CNY clothes?” more than the usual, “Have you eaten Jiak pa boi/Shit pao mang/Siak pa mui?”

Speaking of which, have you bought that red underwear or undergarment for gambling during CNY?

I was thinking, if red is the ultimate luck bringer on CNY, maybe next year, I’ll wear red from head to toe, hair included and paint the nails red! That kinda reminds me of one funny advertisement by Petronas/Perodua/Tenaga Nasional (I can’t remember which one) where there was this old lady of the house who insisted on using red for everything.

But of course, the Chinese people believe that if you start the New Year in red, you should finish it the same way. So, it’s time to balance the book, people! All debts had to be paid by CNY or you’ll be in debt all year! I don’t believe all that you’ll be in debt all year if you don’t balance your book by CNY but I do believe in the logic behind it. It’s a good practice to pay back what you owe. You shouldn’t IOU whoever you’re owing to, for too long lest relationship turns sour.

Make sure you open all the doors and windows of your house at the stroke of midnight to allow the old year to go out and welcome the new year and good luck. Of course it is not practical (in some places like Sibu) because your sparkling clean house is most likely to be polluted by the smoke and debris from the firecrackers.

If you feel like cursing that idiot on the road, refrain from doing so on CNY, you’ll have the whole year yo curse after that. Well, if you just can’t help it, just say “What the fish?!” instead of your usual “What the fuck?!” because fish is considered an auspicious symbol

Nian nian you yu! Go “Gong Hey Fuck Joi!” (In Hakka, the last word means dick) instead of “Gong Hey Fatt Choy!“, they sound the same what but don’t sound too obvious la. Later you kena slap I don’t know lor!

Kids, CNY is the one and only time of the year you’ll not get spanked for your mischief! Uncle Joi Choy (Choy San Yeh/Chai Shen Yeh/God of Prosperity) will give you kids red packet (ang pow) no matter how naughty you are

PS: No mood to work today, not that I have any work to do anyway, because I’m in the mood for holiday already! YAY!

*cue to Chinese New Year song*
“Her Xing Nian, Chu Xing Nian
Xing Nian Ah, Nian Lian Nian
Bao Zhu Sheng, Sheng Cui De Xiang You Nian…“