I Work With Stupid
Jan 21st, 2009 by Clare
If you worked with colleagues like mine, you’d either be pulling your hair out all day long until you become bald or be entertained to no end and laughing your ass off, depending on whether you are pessimistic or optimistic. I choose to be the latter because I’ve grown out of the circle where pulling my hair out at every stupidity done by a colleague was a norm. If I were to be paid a dollar at every stupidity done by a colleague since I started working last month, I think I’ll be able to buy over the company already!
What happened yesterday really made my day. You see, my colleagues have an impressive knowledge about the computer and the internet, which I have no slightest idea of.
So, one fine day…okay, it was yesterday…as I was minding my own business (actually I was spamming comments in STP’s blog 
) behind my desk, I saw a man walking into our office and went to a colleague’s desk to my right. I think one of my fellow executives called the man - the computer technician or something of that sort.
I took one of the earphones off my ear to sampat kaypoh eavesdrop. And while my fingers were typing furiously on the keyboard, my ear were on full alert to pick up every detail of the conversation between the technician and my colleague, Monica*.
Technician: What’s the problem?
Monica: Oh, how come ah, the time in the e-mail we send is different from the time in the PC and time on the clock ah? Why ar?
Technician: Oh. *click click click* OK, done!
Monica: Aih, laju gilak kitak auk. Macam mana? Macam mana? Macam mana?
[Monica grabbed a pen nearby and wrote down the instruction on a paper]
*I was foaming in my mouth, palanting from my chair and pengsan on the floor*
Technician: *Explaining the whole thing* So, only this PC has that problem kah?
Monica: Sik! All PC like that.
Clare: No lah! Mine is normal ler. My time sama time PC and the clock bah! *keeping a straight face*
Monica: Yakah? You mean you already change the time zone?
Clare: Yes.
Monica: In the webmail?
Clare: Yes.
The technician looked at me, smiling and tried to hide a smirk. Bahahaha! You see, every time we call the technician, we’re charged per visit (I think), so after the technician left, Monica came over to my desk.
Monica: Kenak sik cakap awal you pandei buat?!
Clare: You sik tanya pun!
Monica: Aih, you sik dengar kah kita orang kecoh pasal itu kelmarin?
Clare: Saya sik paham BM Sarawak bah!
Monica: Eeee… *pinch Clare’s arm*
Clare: Next time you pay me ajak lah, I charge 70% of what you pay him only
My company just paid someone to do the thing that we can do ourselves, or rather what we are supposed to do manually. Ah well, that’s the price you have to pay for hiring idiots and I don’t think the boss (GM) knows how-to either. The only thing my colleagues need the internet for is to check their Friendster and Facebook!
That, my friends, just made my otherwise boring day! 
*Name has been changed.
** Bahasa Sarawak
Laju = laju/cepat/fast
Gilak=giler/very
Kitak=kamu/you
Auk = ya/yes/right/aye
Sik = tak/tidak/no
Kenak = Kenapa/Why
Pandei = pandai/know how
Ajak = saja/only
omg….you’ve got to be kidding me. What will she ever do if she lives in a place with daylight saving?
On a side note, it’s not until I read the conversation that I realise how little BM I know now…..sigh…
And I’m not coming back for CNY. I wish I was though. Haven’t had a proper CNY celebration for 10 years now….I miss all the house visiting etc…and of course the ang pows. Am currently planning to head back at the end of this year hopefully…..so might catch up with some of you guys then.
I’m not kidding you dear. There are indeed a lot of these kind of people around. My BM dropped a few notches as well and I can hardly string a sentence in BM now, damn it! When was the last time I saw you ar? I think it was end of 2003, am I right?
Clare, i can understand how you feel.. exactly. Sometimes, they tend to ask those simple and silly questions. But can’t blame, not tat everyone is smart.
Anyway, im with full bunch of iban malay staffs. Everyday also talk malay, i think im half malay cina liao.. grrr
Most of my colleagues claimed to have a degree, especially the Monica girl. Ah well, degree doesn’t prove anything nowadays anyway. They sit around and gossip when they are free instead of exploring the internet/computer. If they encountered any problem, someone that is able to help is only a phone call away but of course with a price lah. I mind my own business all day so that I’ll not be stupid like them. Bahahahahaha!!!
ha ha ha, scratches head etc.. ha ha ha
why scratch head lah…got kutu kah?
LOL!
yo! yo!
what’s up biatch?!! hehehe… (just kidding. result of stressing. first paper tomorrow..)
wow!! so monica* doesn’t read your blog? i hope you’re doing well back there. too bad couldnt meet up. it’s alright always have the chance. i.e. when you get married. LOL!
ok then take care and yeah im definitely not going back to work!
No she doesn’t. I don’t think they know how to surf websites other than Facebook and Friendster (and also company’s e-mail)
They thought I was serious at work when I typed furiously on my keyboard (blogging mah) 
PS: Not getting married anytime soon my dear!
tabik bos! u punya collegue kuat power!
lmao
Very the power, man! I wave white flag first liao. They are the CHAMPION, I tell you!
Email got time one kah? Does it matter wat time, as long terima? Me oso dinosaur, goondo, retard! U show me fast2, sure sik ingat!! Must slow2 and l jot down notes step by step….. LOL!
Got lah. If you e-mail me, the time when you sent the e-mail will be shown and seen by the recipient. But I don’t normally care also, got receive enough liao. But I think for company e-mail they want to be formal lor. You dinosaur can write blog and upload pictures wor, the fossils in my company don’t know shit about blog lor.
[…] She (I presume it’s a she because most secretaries are females) basically just sit through the meeting and note down the minutes of the meeting. She normally doesn’t make any sound throughout the meeting except for a few polite laugh with the rest of the attendees whenever the chairman says something funny. They appear smart and professional (or else why do you think they are hired in the first place?), but the secretary in my company has the room temperature IQ (remember Monica from my previous post?). […]
Ha ha ha … well, i dun really care but it does matter when it comes to deadlines and stuffs related to dates ..
But their lack of sufficient knowledge on the technology is affecting my efficiency (in catching snake lah. Hehehe!). Imagine “Clare, Clare, Clare. How to do this and that?” every now and then, I cannot concentrate on my work, not that I have any at the moment
, but it’s annoying la.
Uih! Makin terer kelakar bahasa Sarawak kitak! Muahahaha! I always typing furiously at my pc as well. *wink wink!*
Thank you thank you! For them, typing furiously = harworking. BAhahahahahahahah!!!
[…] Time flies and with a blink of an eye, I’ve been working with this bunch of people for more than 2 months already. I can practically categorize them into different groups. I’ve blogged about one of my colleagues before (remember Monica?). […]