Kolo Mee Talk
Jan 15th, 2009 by Clare
I don’t eat Kampua when I’m in Kuching and hence the title.
Every morning while heading to work, we’ll drop by a coffeeshop, any coffeeshop along Padungan Road, for breakfast. While waiting for my sinfully oily, fattening, lard-laden kolo mee to be served, I normally do some people-watching. I noticed that people at the coffeeshop, or more fondly known as kopitiam, can be categorized into several groups. And this applies to most kopitiam.
- The quickie
This group of people is easy to spot. They ate quickly, drank quickly and hurried off to work or attending to other business in a matter of minutes (oblivious to their surrounding)! Most of the time these people are alone because time is money to them and they can’t waste a minute waiting for a partner/companion to finish his/her food. You’d have thought that their workplace will move away if they don’t hurry! - The modern slave
They are properly attired with office wear. They are not in a hurry nor are they having too much time on their hands. They eat, drink, make small talks before going off to slave their asses off at the office, earning the income they don’t normally see to pay for the house they are not living in most of the time and the car that are not theirs (yet). - The pensioner
Normally they sit in a group and talk loudly over a cup of hot coffee, each, the whole morning. The group comprises of folks aged 55 and above. Their conversation covers their children, their grandchildren, the politics, and back-then-when-I-was-young stories. I envy them because they have too much time on their hands! - The
busybodieskay poh chee
They sit in groups too. They talk about nothing but gossip: who and who is dating, who and who just broke up, who and who is having an affair, who is sleeping with who, who and who’s kid is going overseas, who and who bought an expensive handbag, who and who just bought a new Camry, etc. - The
desperatehousewives
They are all women and they sit in a group. Bags of purchase of vegetable, fruit and grocery can be seen lying near their feet. This group is sometimes known as the kay poh chee because they share the same characteristics as the said group and there is no line to distinguish one from the other. - The ah bengs
They slump on their chair most of the time, smoking and talking, or rather cursing loudly. Common conversation starter: MACIBAI, PUKIMAK, LANJIAO LAH, NAY YIU, CHIBEYANG, etc could be heard miles away and they love the frown given by patrons of the kopitiam. They have this typical annoying ah beng ringtone that hurt your ears whenever their handphones ring. Ah bengs talk on the phone loudly with animated hand gestures as if the caller could see them. Theseah bengsang mohs spot blonde and brunette, unkempt hairstyle (so-called the ‘in’ style today) but cannot string a decent sentence in English. - The student
They are in uniform, carrying their school bags and they sit around smoking. You look at your watch and go “WHAT THE FISH ARE THESE PUNKS DOING HERE NOT IN SCHOOL?!!“
And after I finished my kolo mee and hot teh, I left the kopitiam to slave my ass in the office to earn peanuts to survive, barely 
Which category you belong to?
I belong to the pensioner group, talk kay poh chee talk and rite now, my ringtone very ah beng - ‘Chuo sing nien, chuo sing nien…..’
Hahahaha!!! Yeah, everywhere I go also ‘he sing nien, chu sing nien, sing nien hao,…” and red tanglung hanging everywhere
Wait a minute! U forgot one group! When the food arrives, they arrange the condiments, the utensils, their drink nicely…and then they take out their big toy, turn here, turn there, focus here, focus there…and then they snap the photos from this angle, from that angle…and by the time they finish, food already cold-not nice liao! Hahahahaha!
Hahahahahahahahha!!! True true true…I totally forgot about that! Because I don’t see this group at the kopitiam during breakfast. Yea, should add this too!
i belong to the quickie group… time is money… but if traffic jam… no hurries.. he he, then sit down there with a newspaper reading the comics
You taukay mah, not same. If I’m taukay also I become a member of the quickie what
i belong to da snap-here-snap-there group
what is chuo sing nien ar?
Chuo sing nien is a part of Chinese New Year song lyrics my dear!
Hey Clare, How’re you?
What about the da-pao group of ppl? I never wake up early enough to have breakfast - so always just grab coffee to go. Wish I had kampua or kolo mee to savour for breakfast.
Hi CP! I’m good! Long time didn’t hear from you. How’s life treating you dear? Are you going to be back to Malaysia for CNY?
Hi, i am a new commentor here. HAHA. Well, I must agree with suituapui. I belong to his group, those who take pictures of their food before they makan. But the only difference is that I don’t wait till it gets cold.
Hi, welcome!
Thanks for dropping by!