Kampua Talk

Sidenote:
Watched ‘Ironman’ on the first day of showing. *all thumbs up* You should watch it! 

…in our “First Choice World Class University” *cough * cough* choke to death*

Textbook Repeaters

• We are using textbooks from either the States or the UK most of the time. It means the books are written by the ang moh based on the political, cultural and social background of that particular country. Thus, the textbooks are sometimes difficult and confusing.
• What do you think the lecturers would do? Read from the textbooks lah, what else! Not only that, they would type everything, word by word, from the textbooks into the Power Point presentation and make it their teaching material. And they read directly from the slideshow in the class, without giving examples. Of course they try to sneak in a few lahs here and there to make it sounds like they are explaining.
• What do you think the students would do? Pening lah! No, we do not normally jot down notes because we’d get the notes (the exact slideshow) from the e-learning website anyway. Being pampered and spoonfed is fun! We don’t have to do anything.

Monotonous Bla Bla Bla

• When the subject is boring enough to make a sloth looks interesting, some lecturers just have to add sulphuric acid to injury just by being monotonous. Talking about creativity!
• They read from the long-winded slides created from the long-winded textbooks (refer to previous characteristic) using the lower-G key with no facial expression all the way.

The Killer

• I have no idea how or from where they derived the nickname from but that is exactly the nickname the students gave to certain species of lecturers. The KILLER. The word speaks for itself.
• The killer will lock the door at 10am sharp (say, if his class starts at 10am) and doesn’t entertain late-comers even if they have valid reasons. If you have a class before that and your lecturer was late in releasing you, that’s your problem. If you have a class before that but your lecturer releases you earlier and you have to walk all the way here which make you a few minutes late, next time walk faster! Or run!
• In a killer’s class, you could hear the pin drop. If he hears a whisper or merely a rustle of the paper, all hell break lose! He’ll waste half an hour lecturing about not talking when your father is talking, stuff like that.
• The killer is kiamsiap in giving marks but gives mountains of assignments for you to do as if you have nothing better to do or no other classes. No negotiations regarding the deadlines, no questions asked. You do what I told you to, or else.

The Racist

• Oh yes! We have them! Once in a while you hear a wince-inducing holler, “CINA KAT BELAKANG SANA, BUAT APA?” You can see the scorn on the faces of the students but the racist doesn’t care. Students are afraid to speak up against the lecturers, fearing that the lecturers might fail their grade.
• There was once I attended Social Science class and the remark made by the lecturer was uncalled for, “Quran adalah original dari Tuhan. Yang Kristian dengan Buddha dan yang lain-lain pakai punya Bible ke, ape ke, semua tak original punya.” I could feel my blood pressure shooting up into my brain! How could he make such an irresponsible religious remark! If only I have a camcorder with me then…

The Almighty

•  I don’t know about the other local universities but in my university, lecturers are the most powerful people. Students just shut the hell up and swallow everything the lecturers tell you, whether you like it or not. As long as you are the students and they are the lecturers, you have no say in anything.
• If you have an opinion, swallow it! The ego of the almighty is so huge that he’d actually scream at you if you utter anything that he could not rebut. The mightier-than-thou could not take criticisms. You go to his class and shut up!

The popular one

• They are friendly to everyone. Their classes are the first to be fully filled. Even those students not taking their subjects will flock their classes.
• They are generous in giving marks. As long as you do your work, submit it on time and not too much error, they will give you reasonable marks.
• During exams, they will walk past your desk and hint to you that you have used the wrong formula. You can even ask them for help if you have forgotten your formula.
• They don’t mind if you are late to class if your reason is valid enough.

The I-don’t-give-a-damn

• They don’t care if you come to class or not. They don’t care if you are late to class. They don’t care if you come to class but not listening. They don’t care if you take notes on what they lecture. They don’t care about anything so long as they come to class (never mind on time or not), give lecture for the duration allocated and collect their paycheck at the end of every month.

The Pak Lah

• They say one thing and change their minds after a few hours. Need I elaborate?
• It sucks to the max if you have done what they told you to, only to be told on the day of submission that it is not what they want!

I could write a book on the different species of lecturers we have in our universities. These are just a few common ones. There are lecturers that cannot speak English, angmoh wannabe also got, ex-convict look-alike also got, idiot ones are a lot, etc. You name it, we have it!

Those are the quality of lecturers we have. Shitty university = shitty lecturers = shitty students = shitty products! Now who wants to hire us like that???