Kampua Talk

Or is it Thai Girl Show? Hmm…

The farthest place I had been out of the country was Hatyai, Thailand. With my shithole university being strategically located 15 minutes drive away from the Malaysia-Thailand border, it is pretty common for students here (and lecturers too!) to visit Hatyai. I had my first visit to Hatyai in 2006 over a weekend.

We were given choices: Tiger Show or Ah Kua (Pondan/She-male/Transvestite) Show? All of the 8 guys in our group voted for Tiger Show and they decided for it faster than any of the rest of us, 4 girls, could say “Wait a minute!” We went to a hotel (I do not know the name) near our hotel (which I have forgotten the name also) for the show at about 8.30pm. We waited at the hotel lobby for the show before ours to finish before going in.

The guys were sexcited excited! Some of the girls were excited as well. We entered a dimly-lit lounge-like room. There was a stage in the middle of the room with the glittery words of “Sexy Show” being shone by spotlights. On the stage, there was a black couch.

The guys quickly snatched up the seat, which could accomodate 6-7 people, right in front of the stage. The rest of us were forced to take the seat to the left of the stage. People were filling the lounge-like room.

When time came for the show to start, lights were turned off except for a couple of spotlights focusing on the stage. A couple of hot girls clad in bikinis and hot pants walked in from behind the stage and started dancing for a few minutes. The guys were fascinated by the way the girls swayed their hips and butts (and of course their juicy cleavage!) that they had the same expression on their faces - astonished! LOL!

That was just a warm-up. A few minutes later, they disappeared backstage while another hot-looking girl walked in, wearing nothing but this:

She walked towards the black couch in the middle of the stage and did some really sexy moves. Just as she was spreading her legs like this:

A man wearing only a blue underwear walked in. He knelt on the floor in front of the girl and started caressing her and kissing her all over. As if he had done it millions of time (which I am sure he had), he grabbed both of her breasts and started squeezing them for a couple of times before reaching down to her hips and slid her G-string down her knees and off onto the floor. He reached down and licked her shaved pussy for a while and kissed his way up to her neck. It was like watching an erotic dance. As if on cue, she reached forward and slid her fingers into his underwear at both sides of his hips and pulled his underwear all the way down to his ankles.

They switched places, with the guy sitting on the couch and the girl kneeling in front of him, ready to give him head. (The view from the side of the stage was clear) His dick looked unerected, in another word, limp! But I guessed for the sake of the show, the girl gave head to the guy, briefly. They changed position again. The guy penetrated the girl and gave her a few humps, normal style. A few humps later, they changed into doggie-style. A few humps again, different style. Nothing interesting really, it was like sitting in a sex education lesson, only that this was a live show.

Then a few girls wearing see through babydolls came out and pulled some stunts, showing what they could do with their vagina.

 A near-naked fat girl (that looked like a man to me) had a chicken egg in one hand and an empty wine glass on the other. She placed the glass on the floor in the middle of the stage. She stood over the glass with her legs wide open. She danced a little, showed the egg to the audience before inserting the chicken egg into her vagina. (I went: “Wow! It can go in???”) She danced a little bit more, still with legs wide open over the empty wine glass as the audience held their breath. Suddenly. *ploop* the egg, without the shell, landed in the empty wine glass. The amazing thing was that the egg yolk was not even broken. *clap clap clap* (Me: *quite disgusted* Eww!)

They left the stage. At the same time, two hot girls in white bikinis walked in.

 They reached for a pole each at both ends of the stage. They pole-danced - climbed up the pole and glide all the way down for a couple of times. At one point, the girls pulled one of the strings and untied the bikini top, all the while dancing sexily. They held onto the bikini top and teased the audience for a while before letting the bikini top drop onto the stage. Then the girls danced a while, touching themselves and loosened one end of the underwear on their hips. For some reasons, only one side of the underwear opened, exposing one of the the fair and smooth hips.

Both the girls got down from the stage and strip teased from table to table (to get tips). By the time the song finished, the two girls got back onto the stage, NAKED! They picked up their clothes and went backstage. The stunt girls walked back onto the stage. One of the girls walked to the middle of the stage while the other two stood at each side of the stage and danced a little. The girl opened her legs apart, bent down and pulled something out of her vagina. I could not see clearly what was being pulled but they were tied along what seemed like a never ending stretch of string.

Oh-aim-gee! (O-M-G!) She could insert so much object into her vagina! Then one of the girls took the spotlight, bent forward and pulled something else from her vagina. I was horrified to find out that they were blades!

She was pulling blades after blades, tied along a very long stretch of string, from her vagina! Sharp and brand new blades! These people could really perform stunts with their iron vagina! How the hell did they do it? The blade girl moved to the side of the stage and the center stage was taken over by another hot-looking chick. She did the same leg-spread-bend-over-and-pulled-something-outta-her-vagina move. The only difference was the thing that she pulled out from her vagina - plastic sunflower, also tied along a long stretch of string.

At that stage, I was already deeply traumatized. And the show was not finished yet! After the storing-all-you-can-in-your-vagina feat, a girl wearing a sexy black babydoll walked onto the stage holding a lighted candle. Then she dripped the wax onto various parts of her body before challenging the audience to come forward and be dripped. An old man aged no less than 50 stepped forward and extended his arm. The girl dripped a few drops of wax onto his arm. He screamed in pain *rolled eyes* Then he tipped the girl and there was no more volunteer.

I thought that was all, or so I thought. One of the girls from the vagina stunt (the fat one) came out holding a bottle of Coke. She showed the new bottle of Coke around before going down on all four. *stared in horror, thinking “don’t tell me she’s going to do what I think she will do”* My friends who were sitting right in front of the stage were scared shitless. They moved to the sides of their long couch, covering their heads with their arms. The girl insert the head of the bottle into her vagina and *drum rolls* POP! She opened the bottle with her vagina! What the……!!!

That’s it!!! I was traumatized for life! No more Tiger Show (or Thai Girl Show) for me ever again!

As if to compensate for the trauma that you might experience from all the stunt, they performed a magic show at the end of the show. Well, the usual trick of making poker cards disappear into thin air and all those crap. I was not impressed. I wasted 250 baht to traumatize myself! What a price to pay!