Kampua Talk

Having waaaaaaaaay too much time in hand due to unferseen circumstances of misheard instructions, another thought came to me out of the blue, making me ponder for a while. Remember my shitty thought post some time ago? Alright, alright, you guys must be thinking “why are all your thoughts have something to do with the anus?”

This time, it came to me not when I was shitting in the toilet but when I was having random thoughts. I can hear a few “What are you getting at?”

Someone somewhere has made a calculation that if you farted long enough, the energy produced by the fart can make you a cup of coffee. But who would drink the cup of coffee heated directly by fart? Therefore, the energy produced by fart will go to waste (the coffee as well)

Hence, little miss genius a.k.a. yours truly immediately came up with a solution to that. Since the world is going to run out of natural resources soon due to human activities, why not we use our very own natural resources to substitute Mother Nature’s supply. In addition, we are the ones who used up Mother Nature’s supply, we should, as a whole, contribute something in return.

Every household should be given a pressure tank to collect all our farts at their release pressure. When the tank is full, they will be transported to the energy producing plant where all the farts will be collected and put together without changing the initial pressure. The pressure can be somehow converted into energy through some complicated processes that only geniuses with the brain of a rocket scientist understand. Of course, something ought to be done about the stench - which is the ammonia gaseous with some other unknown gaseous - can be used to produced other thing like the liquid ammonia or pass through chemical process to become ammonium which is useful for chemical research and engineering.

The energy from the pressure of the fart can be used for various things, for example heating up your coffee (?) without the stench, of course, generate electricity to households, etc etc. By then the world will be a more peaceful place to live in as they should ban nuclear plant that produces nuclear energy which has side effects to human kind.

Last, but not least…

[Don’t try this at home]

…it is important to note that one must not light a lighter near the anus when the owner of the anus is farting or suffer the consequences of being burnt alive. WAKAKAKAKKA!!! I don’t know how true it is, well, at least the thought kept me occupied.

Speaking of which, fart can also be a deadly weapon. Misuse of fart by the wrong people will cause catastrophic losses. Therefore, FART is DA WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!

**Do not take seriously what I was crapping on the chemical processes of ammonia and stuff. My shallow knowledge of the subject only allows me to think thus far. This post is for entertainment purpose only!