As we move forward…
Aug 14th, 2007 by Clare
We no longer have to rub dried twig against dried wood to start a fire, we no longer have to wear animal skin as clothes, we no longer have to live in the cave, we no longer have to use the pigeon to send letters, we no longer have to use smoke signal to communicate, the police force no longer have to wear short pants, we are sending e-mails around the world like nobody’s business…
You must be thinking: “What the hell are you getting at? Cut the crap and give us the shit!” LOL! 
Alright, alright. I mean, as we advance, there are a lot of new things to learn and discover. Last time where got computer? (So Manglish! :P) In other words, when technology is becoming more and more high tech, we have to move forward as well. Terms in books, accessories design, clothes, everything!
Even some of the meanings in the Oxford Dictionary should be upgraded, don’t you think?
- Divorce
Future tense of marriage - Cigarette
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other - Lecture
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either - Conference
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present - Compromise
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece - Tears
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power - Dictionary
A place where success comes before work - Conference room
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on - Classic
A book which people praise, but do not read - Smile
A curve that can set a lot of things straight - Office
A place where you can relax after your strenous home life - Yawn
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth - Etc.
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do - Committee
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together - Experience
The name men give to their mistakes - Atom bomb
An invention to end all inventions - Philosopher
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead - Diplomat
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward for the trip - Opportunist
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river - Optimist
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway “See? I am not injured yet” - Miser
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich - Father
A banker provided by nature - Criminal
A guy no different from the rest, except that he got caught - Boss
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early - Politician
One who shakes your hand before generalerectionelections and your confidence after - Doctor
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills
Anything else to add???
Oh, I have one:
Blogger - A housewife who is unemployed and is a liar *snickers*
i guess i am not qualified to be a blogger then… lie as i might… but i cant a housewife…. sigh.
Then…househusband lah
nice one…i’d like to be a stay home dad
Another househusband in the making…hahaha!!!
oi! the police here still wear short pants in summer & ride bikes wei!
You at Aussie summer hotter than here, if ask them wear long pants can die lar…hahahaha!!!
Good one!
I want to add another line…
Boss - Someone who doesn’t know what I know and know what I know already.
Hmm…yeah, that too…
miser… haha.. i would like to say that to all my aunts…
Hahaha!!! Go ahead!
Nice. very funny. Did you come up with all of it yourself?
Hehehe!!! Not really…got those from a forwarded e-mail…Ooopppsss!!!
Same comment as zewt! How to stay at home? Have to work my asss off to earn some $$$!
Happy working!
kampua…black noodle that blacken your mouth and brighten your day
Nice description!
But original kampua ain’t black wor…unless you want it with dark soy sauce lah
I yawn alot.
Why lah?
Also from fowarded email,
School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you
can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
and my personal fav
Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Monkey: A young n handsome blogger like MW, paiseh….
Wuah! Dare say like that still know how to paiseh wor… Huahahah!