Kampua Talk

Do you know that in UUM, students (and lecturers alike) are aware that they suck big time when it comes to their command of English language and yet done nothing about it, I repeat, NOTHING at all!!!

“Clare, how to learn English?” are often thrown at me in the most desperate attempt to MASTER the language in the shortest time possible, especially when exam is around the corner. Students are only desperate to score good grades in examinations and hence the desperate pleas to learn English only when examination is near. Oh, by the way, UUM students who got Band 4 and lower in MUET are required to take English For Higher Education subject so that, according to the university, it can somehow improve their command of English language (NOT!!!)

With that being said, I was exempted from taking any English language subject whatsoever (not being aroogant, don’t get me wrong) but I was and still is not thrilled about it. I mean, one still have to learn to maintain their level of language. Being exempted from taking English papers is NOT good news for me but majority of the students here disagreed with me. They prefer not to take the paper if not for the word MUST and remain in their comfort zone with their command of English.

I admit that my command of English language is below standard compared to a lot of people out there (Dang! 90% of UUM students are going to KILL me for making that statement!) and that I still have to work hard to improve on that. But the environment that I am in now, it is impossible for me to maintain the level that I used to have, never mind to improve!

The other day, when I asked a number of students to join the English Language Debate Club during the Organization Day, the most reactions I got were: winced and quickly walked away, fearful expression on the face with a “Oooo…!!!”, “Dowan lah, my English no good“, “My English very poor”, “I am not interested”, “My English kanasai”, “Scared lah, have to speak in front of people, summore English no good”, “I dunno how to debate”, the list goes on and on and on…

Of course we did not force people to join if they did not want to but the excuses that I got from the same people since the first semester I joined (now I am in 5th semester) have never changed. Friends agreed with my points on the importance of the language (which were scattered around in posts this blog) but merely agreeing without doing anything to improve oneself is equivalent to utter BULLSHIT!

The other night, I received an SMS from a college-mate praising sky-high on my criticism on the command of English Language among graduates and undergraduates in this blog. Then, that fellow went on defending himself saying that I should not look down on those who are weak in English because yadda yadda yadda *rolls eyes* Well, I did not, or rather, did not mean to look down on them but they have to realize that the harsh cruel reality is right there, in front of their eyes, slapping them in the face that no matter what excuses that they give, either to themselves or the world, English is the lingua franca of the globe.

Well, being Chinese-educated or BM-educated is a SUPER LAME excuse for being weak in English. Yes, one may come up with a thousand and one excuses for not being good in a certain thing but at the end of the day, it all narrows down to oneself, his or her determination to shut up and learn instead of giving lame excuses for not being able to be on par with the rest of the world.

It does not mean that your command of English must be good to be eligible to join English Language Debate Club (ELDS). You do not have to talk Shakespearean. If you do not know how to debate, we will TEACH you, that was the purpose of the club! Your language is very poor? ELDS is the place for you to learn and improve yourself! Why can’t UUM students understand such simple thing when they can be half-dead memorizing complicated formulas for their exam??? Oh, I just said it. “…for the exam…” I get it now

Why you (especially UUM students) SHOULD join ELDS?

• Because you SUCK big time in English language!
  I am no Shakespeare either, that was why I joined…
• Learn the ART OF COERCION
  This is how you learn to talk with POISE and STYLE without being too pushy
• Learn to LIE WITH A STRAIGH FACE
  You will not find this in any text books. I will not call it lies though. Manipulating the truth would sound better. This is the art you have to learn in order to survive in the cruel modern slavery world after you graduate. You will learn how to say it as if you are delivering the fact of the century!
• Develop your SELF ESTEEM
  A lot of people fear speaking in public more than of deaths! I was one of them but eventually I gained my confidence after so much practice. But I still get butterflies in the stomach every time I am about to present my points. The butterflies died a few minutes into my speech. Those of my coursemates who have seen me in class presentations could tell the difference - the way I presented compared to my fellow coursemates.
• It will help you SHARPEN skills that you will use all your life
  The art of persuasion, negotiation, dealing with people, etc…need I say more?
• It is a platform that helps mold doctors, lawyers, leaders and any profession where analyzing, presenting arguments and speaking in public is a MUST!
  And I am still wondering why none of the UUM debators are from the law faculty! Oh, by the way, law students in UUM (most of them) are LAME!!!
• …think why is English important!

I do not normally teach people how to learn or improve their command of English Language not because I lan si (arrogant). I seriously do not know how nor do I have the authority to tell you what to do to learn or improve. Each of us have our personal unique way of learning. You might not like the way I learn or that my way of learning might differ from yours. Don’t believe me? 99.9 percent of people said “SIAO AH?!!” (“Are you crazy?!!”) and ignored me after I told them what I normally do:

I read the dictionary

“SIAO AH?!!”

To these people, I’d smirked and snickered just shrugged and walked away because well, in the end, I emerged stronger and better than them, language-ly speaking of course!