Kampua Talk

I was on MSN the other day with Ang Kao Gogor, bitching, complaining, ranting, criticising almost anything under the sun up into the space until…

Clare: …so full of shit…stupid people…bla bla bla…
Angkao: *tulan* Wei, you complain so much also no use. Go and do my 5-complain tag lah!
Clare: FIVE only???
Angkao: Then go write a book!
Clare: -______- |||

*headache* If you ask me to do a 50 complain tag, I can do it with no complain. Some people (me included) can complain *poke calculator* 1440 times a day (that’s every minute) and this tag would be one of them but life would not get any better.

After some thinking (not really) I managed to come up with my top FIVE complains which I never failed to do EVERYDAY!

1. The fucked up blardy slow internet connection in this country!
   I consider myself a blogger and I love blogging till death do us part. I need a PC or laptop AND the internet connection to blog. Streamyx Stream-my-ass, claimed to be the major provider of broadband in the country is kind enough to provide me with slow-speed, unstable connection to do that. Therefore, slow + unstable connection = no internet connection = play football with no leg!

   You are a service provider company. One of your main objectives apart from gaining profit is to provide the best service for your clients/customers, us! We pay for that service. So it is common sense that your service should commensurate with the amount that we pay! What is the point for us to pay extra to upgrade when the connection is equally SLOW? Not only they are slow, they are always unstable and sometimes will be down for ages. Streamys Stream-my-ass, are you doing your job???

2. The screwed up education system of this country!
   I believe that we are brought up in a perfectly screwed education system in the country. Since young, as soon as we started school, we were taught not to question when we had doubt, or even when the teacher was wrong. If we questioned, we were labelled rebellious and not respecting the elders, and then sent to the principal’s office. Our parents were called in and we were falsely accused of being naughty and rude. They say, kids should be seen, not heard. So we obediently shut the hell up and received any punishments that followed.

   The education system is not levelled to the speed that a child can learn. We were not allowed to learn, develop and study at our own pace. Slow-learners and fast-learners are put in the same class. After some time, these fast-learners would be pulled to the same level as the slow-learners as teachers had to slow down to get the slow-learners to understand 100% of what they taught. Apart from that, we were also taught to memorize because you will be considered smart if you score well in the examination. Being too exam-oriented where we are categorized as smart or stupid according to the outcome of the exam, memorization is the key to score well.

   That is why most graduates and undergraduates are passive, cannot think out of the box, not practical, no common sense, downright stupid, etc. They were being spoon-fed since young and therefore their brains are all frozen up with only-one-right-answer to everything. I can write a book on this topic alone.

3. The discriminating, racist and corrupted blardy garmen!
   This one, I think everybody knows what I want to say. Well, just go and read my previous entries regarding my brother’s failed university application, you will know what I mean. I do not want to repeat it here as this topic alone will also take a whole as-thick-as-Oxford-dictionary book to talk about.

   Now, don’t come and cramp my style by saying: “You don’t like this country then what the fuck are you doing here? Get your arse out of here then!” like the blardy garmen do. Even though we are not allowed to openly talk about issues that are labelled as sensitive to some narrow-minded shit head who only talk cock sing song all the time, IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE PROBLEM IS NOT THERE, get it?

4. The world’s stupidest people (read: Mike Alpha Lima Alpha Yankees!) everywhere!
   Another book, or a few books can be published out of this topic. They are everywhere, they pollute the country in every way they could, they are slow, they are stupid, they have no sense, they are (very) dependent, they are slightly a notch above the bacteria and they are such a waste of space. We can do without them. You know what I am talking about, don’t you?

   Try calling a government department (or any government department), local universities, Streamyx, Celcom, Maxis, Digi, MAS, just to name a few, your blood pressure will rise drastically and you’ll vomit blood. Even my mum said the same thing after calling my university to enquire before calling me to complain. After I answered, her first words were: “EH TOH HUEK LAH!!!” meaning CAN VOMIT BLOOD LAH!!! in Hokkien.

   How can you expect someone who is genetically different from you to behave like you? Even the chemical properties of different chemical elements behave differently!

5. Money not enough!
   While the price of everything sky-rocketed, our income remains the same. Not that I have income yet, but the major focus here is money.

   You see, even when I am studying now, I already owe the government! With the PTPTN (read: Pity Pity Notes) a.k.a. study loan given to us every semester, it is still not enough. For my case, after deducting the school fee and dividing the balance, I have only RM 500 to survive. RM300 - RM 400 would be spent on food. Take the minimum amount, that will only give me RM200 for other expenses. Reference books cost about that amount or more, and therefore, not even a single cent left for me to top-up my handphone credit.

   Now you can go and calculate those people who are employed. They have to pay for housing loan or rental, car loan, credit card, utility bills, Streamyx, toll, car maintenance, food, daily necessities, etc. Total everything up, there will most probably be an outstanding balance. Everything also needs money, don’t argue with me. Now you tell me how to survive?

*inhale deeply*

Now, 5 are really not enough. But as greedy as I am, any amount would not be enough anyway. No, I do not want to tag anyone. You are welcomed to take it. Help youself.

I can start writing a book on any of the topic above already. There might be at least 5 best-sellers when they are published, no? LOL!!!