The truth about Sarawak
Jun 9th, 2007 by Clare
I got the inspiration to start this meme from Gilbert, a best friend’s brother who commented as zouk or zouk_guy. I’ll call this “The Truth About Sarawak”. Those tagged are required to answer all the questions in your own way/style/words. Modification and additional questions are most welcomed.
Sarawakians studying or working in West Malaysia have all been through this. The frustration and annoyance being stereotyped as Sarawakian could be felt from the skin right through the bone marrow. As a Sarawakian myself, I understand your sentiments. And hence the birth of this post to grind the truth into the thick skulls of ignorant West Malaysians who would probably die of ignorance if not for this post. Here are the frequently asked questions (FAQ) by those empty-skulled idiots directed, usually at the abused and harassed Sarawakians (and also Sabahans, for that matter)
Q: Oh, you are from Sarawak! *eyes wide with excitement* So far away! How you people come here ah?
A: Usually we’ll swim or ride on the back of a crocodile to get here. But since we discovered balloons, we use balloons to get here. My punctured balloon just got stuck at the tree somewhere in [insert any place in West Malaysia] just now so I have to walk all the way here.
Q: Oh, like that! So back home, you people live in trees ar?
A: Well, of course! Specifically, there are elevators in there which we use to get to the top of the tree where we live. Our tree house are fully air-conditioned, equiped with flat screen TVs, DVD players and home theatre surround system, not forgetting ASTRO service AND satellite TV (which is FOC) so that we can watch CSI! Oh, and we have orang utans as butlers as well. They are better trained than some politicians in WM well-trained, you know!
Q: You guys have electricity or not?
A: Of course we do! But since the transmission is too high due to the geographic barriers, we use independent solar panels and mini turbine, scattered all around the state. There are exactly 30, 000 of them! To save cost, sometimes we use West Malaysians to run on wheels ala hamster to convert kinetic energy to electricity.
Q: Kuching got airport or you use boat go Johor?
A: Told you liao we either swim or ride the crocodile! But hor since Air Asia so cheap and Kuching airport can tumpang a 747, we take aeroplane more than you people take bus. Summore the airport is not over-run by rats like, say, KLIA (?)
Q: How long if you take bus from Singapore to Kuching?
A: Use Airbus only 1.5 hours.
Q: Over there got what car?
A: No lor, we ride wild boar. If we are lucky, we get to ride the elephant. So when the plane arrive at the airport, we ride our wild boar all the way to our tree house.
Q: Got road or not?
A: Nope. Only jungle trails and a few roads around town. Because the federal government is too busy spending money on you guys.
Q: You Bidayuh from Sulawesi there huh?
A: Yalah! Aboden? Drop from sky is it? Summore we are head hunters. Human brains are the best food…
Q: Sarawak inside Sabah, right?
A: No, we are one state, you idiot! Sabah is a town in Sarawak!
Q: Eh? Sabah Sarawak not the same meh?
A: About the same. We have hotter, fairer and sexier-looking people compared to West Malaysians. Heard of Amber Chia?
Q: Kuching how big ar?
A: Very big. We are the biggest state in the country mah. At least bigger than your brain.
Q: Kuching got a lot of cats hoh?
A: Got, more than human, you know. We got Siamese cat, Persian cat, tabby cat, alley cat, pussy cat,…We eat the cats and preserve their bodies to put inside Cat Museum for you people to see.
Q: Sarawak got Malay?
A: You say leh?
Q: Sarawak people can speak English?
A: Better than you guys! We were conquered by the Brooke family once upon a time, remember? And my lecturer from WM can only say “Good morning”, “See you next class” and “Thank you” 0.o!!!
Q: You people from Sarawak use Ringgit?
A: No lah! Who told you that? We use pound!
That’s about it that I can recall. My dear fellow Sarawakians, anything to add? You are welcome to do so. Since I started this meme, the bloggers that I’d love to tag would be:
- Alvin Chong
- Rose Wong
- Frankie
- Kok
- Bengbeng
- Clement Wong
- Charles Toh
- Monkey Wong
- Wongpk
- Wuching
- …and all the Sarawakians studying or working in WM who read this!
**Link back to me ya! I want to read your post on this. It must be interesting! *evil laughs*
Have a nice weekend everyone! Now you can start tiu me already!
wah, nice ho at least ur town oredi got currency, here my ulu town still rely on barter le, no monetary system or watsoever. ;-D
oh yea, please read http://wengken.vox.com/library/post/kuala-lumpur-vs-kuching.html
i cant help but to laugh out loud, a very poor comparison. to compare a big developed metropolitan with the capital of a state clearly ripped off of its oil riches by the lousy a** federal government. a very unintelligent entry
I laughed my ass off too!!! A pathetic attempt huh….
aiyo…hehehe i think bengbeng’s from penang wei eventho he lives in sibu now!
Sodeska?!!! Ok, then…wakarimaz! He can also do mar if he wants
Hahaha…. A genius brain u have there clare, thanks to the nutients you digest from the human brains.. LOL. Headhunters, katakan….
Anyway, when I was living in Alor Star (childhood), people there (especially the Malays) were more interested to know whether Sarawakians were chinese and whether they consumed khinzir (back then, ppl used “khinzir” not “babi”). Oh well, maybe because my brothers and I were Sarawakian who looked like Chinese kids (when we were little).
And what “amazed” me then was the people were very “amazed” to learn that we travelled by planes, not once or twice, but countless time. And I told them innocently, well you could use the long boats to cross the big sea, but it will take ages. People back then (west malaysians) usually travelled by cars, busses and trains, well, they had better highways then.
Haha, those were the days.
And nowadays, when u meet a west malaysian and said, “I’m from sarawak”, they will proudly and will be very happy to tell you that “I have been there before”, thanks to Air Asia. And the ironic part is that when I see a West Malaysian who proudly brag “I’m from Kuala Lumpur” or “I’m from Penang, Alor Star, etc”, I will not burst out and said “I lived there before”. Been there, done that. LOL. Anyway, we are Malaysians, love thy neighbour. I would like to quote Catherine Willows in an episode from CSI: “Good fences make better neighbours”. LOL
P/s Sorry for the long comment, my once-upon-a-time blog dah mampus ditelan zaman. LOL
I see stars and moons after reading your long comment…Hahahaha!!! Very informative indeed…Thanks Anne!
WAkakakakka…….
, alamak, laugh till forget 2 comment.
Clare, I like d way u answered them, those are d questions I received during my earlier years stay in KL last time. Then, all sort of stories come out 2, hahahaha….. wait, i thought i c same familiar name, bye bye…… cabut n hide ……
Thank you, Monkey! *waiting to see the creative Monkey in action doing the tag*
i am not in west m’sia
If people ever ask you those question, you are welcome to do it…
[…] tagged from Clare to tell “ignorant WM” bits and pieces bout […]
yalor, clement in north borneo lah!
here’s my exam paper; http://wuching.blogspot.com/2007/06/truth-about-sarawak.html
I am so proud of you! You are officially my partner-in-crime lah, wuching!
[…] right time to get tagged by Clare again. Still some people at KL likes to ask me those questions. Honestly I’m very lazy to […]
quite a few of my west malaysian frens have stepped foot on swak but theyve only been to kuching and they head for places like the longhouses or sarawak cultural village then after that only a few days in kuching so they dont really get to know swak that well. that is why, anything besides kuching is either ulu or “do you get there by boat” ? they dont need our beaches, caves, national parks or the mount kinabalu beacause theyve got their own perhentian,langkawi,batu caves,musang caves, taman negara, genting highlands, cameron highlands, theme parks so they dont find it necessary to come to swak. what is in swak they can get there. So their very short stay here wouldnt have exposed to them what and how swak truly is. Anyway, i find it a little interesting that eventho some of them brag about coming from big cities like KayEl, i seem to know the whereabouts of that place more than them, the best place to shisha that is
hahah Hartamas rules !!!
Well, I know you know…truth is, only Sarawakian know best…I am proud to be a Sarawakian!
Wow! After I blogged this, I left to meet up with some friends and had dinner and when I came back, so many people tiu-ed me already…Hahahah!!! I had fun doing this, hope you did too…Anybody can do this meme, not just those Sarawakian studying or working in WM. Be creative lah, this is for fun (how we make a fool out of WM people) Oh, and those who cannot take jokes can go play far far…This is supposed to be a light weekend post for entertainment. Hiak hiak hiak!
“I am proud to be a Sarawakian!” Me 2. But plese my dear west malaysian “braders” , dont take this as an offense ok ? “pway pway” only mah, hehe. Im afraid that later the “gahmen” send their ISA over and put me to jail.
Aiyo, Gilbert! A clown mentioned before “Bloggers are liars” so I don’t think the blardy garmen will do anything to you wan…Even if put you in jail, I teach you lah, do what Paris Hilton did…Muahahhahaha!!!
Kelakar la engko, clare…. Kakakakakakakakaka….. You don’t find that in animal planet… (Some line from Madagascar). =p
Glad you enjoyed yourself! Yeah, you don’t find this in animal planet!
done
Thank you
Ha! Ha! Totally agree with u. Like u, I say sarawakian live on tree top & they use evalator to go to the house but I also add those richer wan use helicopter!! The road here is super good wan. In fact almost any good W’msian car can’t serverce on sarawak road except Toyota Ninja King ( which w’msia can’t afford as road tax is about RM21k per year). How big is sarawak. Well it is a big as the whole of w’msia, & this is the truth. That is all for now. Have a nice day.
So creative lah your answer. Why don’t you do the tag also???
[…] Clare started this meme all because of the South China Sea which separates East Malaysia from West Malaysia. The big gap in between two parts of the nation causes a very beautiful misunderstanding among the citizens. Here are the frequently asked questions (FAQ) about Sarawak. […]
Sabah is not in Sarawak. :p
DUH!!! I know that!!! *rolls eyes*
Hello Clare…. I’m in the process of getting this up hehehe…
Will let you know when I’m done.
Hi, Irene! Thanks for dropping by. Can’t wait for you to get it done
[…] I’m sure many East Malaysians ever encounter this sort of conversation before. Very classic one… This leads me to the tag that Monkey tagged. Actually it started by Clare. […]
Done, check it out at:
http://www.alvinchong.net/2007/06/13/i-am-a-proud-sarawakian/
Arigato gozaimaz! A good one indeed…LMAO!
As we should all say, Malaysians by birth, and Sarawakian by the grace of God.
Amen!
[…] one of my previous posts, I mentioned about stupid questions that people asked and is still asking about Sarawak. Don’t hold your breath because they are pretty much what we are facing every time we tell […]
“Kuching located in Sabah or Sarawak ke”, that the typical stupid question posed by the most Peninsula Malaysians. My God…after 50th years of independance from the British colonial, the mindset of most Peninsula Malaysians are still 50 years behind. They can’t ever know their own states geographically. So, what the meaning of 50th independance. Thus, we, all Sarawakians have deep knowledge about our own country and know each parts of Sarawak like the back of our hands.
Peninsula Malaysians are really tuned to a Malay saying “Frogs inside the coconut shell” and Sarawakians are more global in their outlooks.
I agree with you all. You imagine. After 50 years or is it 44 years and the ignorance still exists despite the fact that Sarawakians and Sabahans have flown all over Malaysia and West Malaysians have come to Sabah and Sarawak. It is politics that purposely cause people not to know each other. Somehow West Malaysians think that it is not important to know the differences between Sarawak and Sabah. Nowadays Sarawak and Sabah are as competitive as West Malaysia. We have Dato’ Robert Lau in the federal Cabinet. We have Dato’ Dompok in the Prime Minister Department. But why this could not be bothered attitude still exist ? If a West Malaysian were to ask a Sarawakian or a Sabahan all the states in West Malaysia, there will be no problem answering. But if the question is asked the other way round, there will be some scratching of the head before a wrong answer is given. Sibu is in Sabah. You are from Sabah, no ? Why Sabah so significant ? Because UMNO is there ? There is a big problem with the education ministry. A big failure in not educating Malaysians to know their own country well. Or Sandakan in Sarawak. Now, KK is in Sarawak. And Kuching in Sabah. It is stupid. It is silly. It is utter nonsense. It is irritating having the same questions directed to you. And you have to repeat like a nagging mother in law. No, Sibu is in Sarawak. Tawau is in Sabah. And yet we say we want to be developed. Come 2020 and I might still have to shake my head.
melaya called us jakun or watsoever coz their mentallity is too low…so if u try to xplain how swak really is to them is useless…
..even their jokes were lame not to say the way they tackle ompuan …shit gelik nyawa…noticed the way they dressup??e.g rempit??or some1 from felda??i think they still stuck in the 80`s lor…hehe…but still they called us kolot…i mean wats wif the lowa jean uptown altered to b skinny??wtf man…u guys looks like elf??wheres ur arch??goin to hunt wif robin hood today??yeah thats org2 melaya really are….man in thights…note:swak malay n west msia malay is totally not the same…
thats why we call them ‘orang lepeh’.. haha.. proud 2 be sarawakian.
Yay!
When I attended my journalism training over 30 years ago, I was asked whether the Ibans lived on trees. I told them that was correct. My parent occupied two big branches of a big tree. I occupied a smaller branch. The youngest in our family occupied the smallest branch. Believe me or not, they believed what I said. How stupid they were.
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……..
never know blog like this exist!!!!!!!
really great!!!
since my uni days an now working it has been like about 6years already i live in WM….
what u guys said here just a typical WM would ask if they know your from SWK!!!!
you guys know what???? some of the WM even believe when you give them outragous answer when you ask bout our livelihood back in sarawak…heheeh
now we know who actually “live in trees” hehehe
like one of you guys said,
BORN MALAYSIAN BUT SARAWAKIAN AT HEART =)